I wonder ...
I don't really have alot to write about on here, but I do have something that I wrote awhile ago and I figure this is a pretty cool place to put it. I rencently was diagnoised with Carcinoid cancer ... I wrote this a few nights afterI was daignoised.
I woder where tomorrow comes from, where is it going today?
I wonder why I’m so tired and hungry but yet so full?
Why can’t I think, move, breathe?
Why did he give and I receive?
Why does he try and take away, but I hold on?
Why was I chosen?
What makes me so special?
I feel sick, nauseas, chest hurts, its colds, and sometimes lonely.
But I know others have gone before me and won, and I know I can do the same.
I wonder is life gunna change?
Has it already and I missed it?
Why do I already want to give in?
Why should I fight, what’s to lose?
Where is he going with this, where am I taking it?
Can I look past it or thru it?
Why is he so strong and how can he hold me?
Why has he already taken everything?
Why do I need him?
What’s in it for him?
I’m still tried but I can’t Sleep.
All I do is think, think about tomorrow, think about today,
yesterday, next week, next year.
And sometimes I’m to tired to think so I sit, and wait, and watch.
For what I don’t know, but I’m still sitting, and waiting, and watching.
As I’m sitting, and waiting, and watching
I watching as he paints a picture, a picture of my life.
Its dreams, hopes, worries, desperation,
But it goes blurry with one stroke, and with the second stroke its wiped clean except for 3 spots.
I see this and I’m amazed and I sit, and wait, and watch
Because I’m to tired to think or move.
So he does it all for me.
And I wonder … but I’m to tired to think.
I wonder why I’m so tired and hungry but yet so full?
Why can’t I think, move, breathe?
Why did he give and I receive?
Why does he try and take away, but I hold on?
Why was I chosen?
What makes me so special?
I feel sick, nauseas, chest hurts, its colds, and sometimes lonely.
But I know others have gone before me and won, and I know I can do the same.
I wonder is life gunna change?
Has it already and I missed it?
Why do I already want to give in?
Why should I fight, what’s to lose?
Where is he going with this, where am I taking it?
Can I look past it or thru it?
Why is he so strong and how can he hold me?
Why has he already taken everything?
Why do I need him?
What’s in it for him?
I’m still tried but I can’t Sleep.
All I do is think, think about tomorrow, think about today,
yesterday, next week, next year.
And sometimes I’m to tired to think so I sit, and wait, and watch.
For what I don’t know, but I’m still sitting, and waiting, and watching.
As I’m sitting, and waiting, and watching
I watching as he paints a picture, a picture of my life.
Its dreams, hopes, worries, desperation,
But it goes blurry with one stroke, and with the second stroke its wiped clean except for 3 spots.
I see this and I’m amazed and I sit, and wait, and watch
Because I’m to tired to think or move.
So he does it all for me.
And I wonder … but I’m to tired to think.
P.S. this is the drama I was talking abot Mrs. K ~!~ I'll explain everythign tonight ~!~ ;)
posted by Audra @ 6:53 PM
4 Comments:
Audra, that is absolutely beautiful. It is so clearly from the heart. Thanks for sharing it. I love the line: "What's in it for him?"
Powerful.
Audra,
I'm glad I read it at home, before you shared it with me tonight. I have a reputation, of being strong and non-dramatic, to keep up-lol! You are amazing. As Paul said to Timothy..."Everytime I say your name in prayer...I thank God for you"
In His Love,
Karen
A gorgeous poem, Audra. I have linked to your site on my blog. Hope you don't mind (& please tell me if you do!). May I post a copy of the poem on my website?
Hey Monk ~!~ Thanks ~!~ Yeah you can put a copy of it on your web site ... but only cause I like you~!~ lol ~!~
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