Journeys in Life ...

Strength for Soldiers in the Prattville Progress and Montgomery Advertiser :)

2009-05-02T22:29:00.000-07:00

Nursing student offers strength for soldiers overseas

By Hamilton Richardson
Progress staff writer

Soldiers who serve the country overseas often deal with loneliness and discouragement, having become detached from family members for long periods of time.

Those servicemen and women who come from the local area, however, now have an advocate who has dedicated herself to help them with some of those difficulties.

Audra Mickle, who grew up in Prattville and whose family still lives in the area, recently embarked on a journey to help make the lives of those serving overseas a little brighter.

"One of my closest friends, Doug Orr, came up to me one Sunday at church and said he was shipping out in five weeks, and that he would be gone for nine months," Mickle said.

Orr was a chaplain in the Navy and was heading out in early January for an undisclosed location overseas. Orr told Mickle and the congregation of Verbena United Methodist Church that he wanted their support in providing devotional books to other deployed solders.

"I was part of that congregation that morning and I knew that Doug was right and that I had to do something," Mickle said. "I sat down and decided that I was going to start a nonprofit organization and raise money for the devotional books and try and help assist deployed chaplains."

The book Orr recommended was called "Strength for Service to God and Country" and included devotional readings from the 1940s. The book is waterproof and tear-resistant and includes 365 devotions by leading protestant ministers in 1942. There are also 40 other contributions from Roman Catholic clergy and African-American church leaders.

Mickle had no idea however how hard it would be to start a non-profit organization and do all that it would take to make it work.

"I was at the bank every day for two weeks," Mickle joked. "I had to call the IRS and I'm not a tax accountant. The idea was a solid one but little did I know what I was getting myself into."

Mickle eventually did get her nonprofit organization, which she named Strength for Soldiers, off the ground. Her efforts included the establishment of a board of directors, which includes herself, her mother, Doug Orr, and an accountant, David Bowen. Mickle was even able to send out her first shipment of devotionals.

"It's a big deal. It was only about 10 books," she said. "We sent them to California to Doug's mailing address to be forwarded. Doug will hand them out to other chaplains to be used for the soldiers."

Cokesbury, which is the retail division of The United Methodist Publishing House, has agreed to sell Mickle's organization the devotional books for $5 each with a further discount for large orders.

Mickle is now trying to establish connections with churches, businesses, and other organizations to seek further funding for her efforts. She also plans to contact state representatives and even the governor's office as well as local Christian groups.

"Some churches have been receptive. I thought about talking with clubs at the high schools," Mickle said.

Mickle, as well as heading up her new nonprofit, also plans to become a registered nurse and do medical mission work in Africa. She is currently in her first semester of nursing school at Troy University.

Student, 19, helps troops with books
BY JENN ROWELL • APRIL 10, 2009

Audra Mickle's friend told her he was deploying, and she wanted to help.
Lt. Doug Orr, a Navy Reserve chaplain and a pastor at a church in Verbena, asked his congregation to support the troops while he was away.

"I thought I could do something, too," Mickle said.

Before he left, Orr told his congregation at Verbena United Methodist Church that he and the other Navy chaplains he was deploying with had agreed on a non-denominational devotion book called "Strength For Service to God and Country."

They had decided they would distribute the books to troops and use them in services.

She didn't really know what she was doing at first, but with a little help from her mom and a few others, she set up a nonprofit group called Strength for Soldiers.

Mickle, 19, is a nursing student at Troy University in Troy, but in her limited free time, she raises money to send devotion books and other needed items to Orr.

"It's a huge priority for me," she said.

Mickle's father was deployed while she was in junior high , but she said she didn't really understand it as much then.

Now, she wants to support her military friend and what he wants is for people to support the troops.

One reason is because she knows he was there to support her.
The Prattville native was diagnosed with cancer in high school, and Orr was the first person, other than her parents, that she told.

"That was my motivation, to help him out since he helped me out," she said.
She started her project in December and has sent 50 books to Orr, who's at an undisclosed location. Her longtime friend will be back in September, but she plans to continue raising money and sending the devotion books.

Mickle set up her nonprofit with the Internal Revenue Service and opened a bank account for the organization. Then she contacted Cokesbury, a Christian bookstore in Birmingham, and the company agreed to sell her the devotion books for $5 each.

She's raising money through local churches, business and individual donors.

Mickle said a flat-rate box from the U.S. Postal Service costs $13.15. For $150.65, she can buy and ship 25 devotion books. For $288.15, she can send 50 books; for $563.15, she can send 100.

Want to HELP?

Send Checks to:
Strength for Soldiers
209 Sweet Briar Lane
Prattville, AL 36067

Strengthforsoldiers@gmail.com

"Strength for Soldiers" Needs YOUR Help!!! ASAP!

2009-01-28T14:42:00.000-08:00

I just started a non-profit organization called "Strength for Soldiers", and it's purpose it to help raise money for devotional books for deployed soldiers and helps assists deployed chaplain’s with items they may need. Currently the chaplain's are requesting a certain devotional book called Strength for Service to God and Country. The book is from Cokesbury and I've talked to the manager and he has agreed to sell the books to us for $5.00 a piece!

Strength for Service to God and Country is a book of devotions designed for those in military service, firefighters, police officers, and others in service to their country. The new edition contains 365 devotions written by leading Protestant ministers in 1942, along with 40 new contributions from leaders of other faith groups, including Jewish, Islamic, and Roman Catholic.

I need your help raising money for this cause! I'm not asking for money from you, but rather if you know of a place where I could come speak to try & raise money! It could be your church, your business, or your local coffee group! I'll be happy to meet you anywhere to answer any questions you may have! Although if you would like to send money we won't turn it down OR if you & your church, business, or friends would like to get together & just buy some devotional books that would be amazing too! Remember every donation is a TAX DEDUCTION!

If you would like to make a donation - here's how to do it!
Checks should be made out to "Strength For Soldiers" and mailed to! Please leave a return address so I can send you a receipt & a thank you note! :)

Strength for Soldiers
209 Sweet Briar Lane
Prattville, Al 36067

Facing Life ... and Death ...

2007-08-22T19:35:00.000-07:00

So it's been awhile since I last posted something ... a lot has happened since February not only in my life, but I'm guessing in your life too.

Almost 20 days ago I packed up and left Prattville to head to the big city of Troy to start a new journey in my life! And I have to say it's been an amazing start so far! The classes are a little more work and a little more sleep depriving than I thought, but I'm sure I'll figure it all out! But anyways, tonight at dinner me and two girls that I just recently met were talking and Caitlin was talking about how long she and her boyfriend had been dating (2 years - in case you were wondering!) and she looked at me and said, "God, it seems like we've been dating for so much longer than that ... I guess its because over the past two years a lot of things have happened." And I couldn't agree with her more ... a year ago my friend Mark had just past away, I was just starting my senior year, starting out at a new church ... and starting to make my OWN choices!

Her statement made me stop and think about dramatic events in our lives and how they affect us after the fact. Dramatic events (obviously are dramatic) but they also stop us in our tracks - time at that moment seems to freeze.

Almost 3 years a man I've come to know and love was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I've grown up with this man, and always felt close to him, but after I was diagnosed something just connected (it was that common bond that everyone has and feels at different times). These past 3 years seem to have slipped by - I guess it was because the doctors gave him 6 months ... and after he beat that ... well, I guess I hoped he would just beat the rest. I remember praying each night "God, just let him make it to my graduation ... amen" He did indeed make it to my graduation! But all this time when everyone assumed he was getting better ... he was still taking treatment but more importantly he was still going strong! He's never let this slow him down ... Recently he found out that it had spread to his liver, and normally that means a few weeks maybe a few months ... when I found out I was upset, but I didn't understand ... Why??? He'd made it to my graduation ... he seems fine ... I can't help but remember my prayer "God, just let him make it to my graduation ... amen" - God answered that prayer, but I wanted more - more time, more laughs, more for his daughter ... until I talked to him the other day. I was being so selfish - everything I wanted I wanted for me ... somewhere in all this (while all this selfishness is because I wanted more time with him) I'd somehow forgotten about him, and what he wanted.

I ran into him at the cancer center while we were both there to get treatment, and everything just kinda flowed out of him. Questions, answers to the questions to the questions he'd been asking - but that didn't really matter anymore, thoughts on things, honesty ... He's been on some form of Chemo since he found out ... and this is what he said, "I've been speaking a lot lately to different groups, and if I can just help one person, all this will have been worth it." I could have fallen to pieces there, but luckily we both got called back - and I pushed it aside. After I got my treatment I went back to were he was at sat for a little while ... This man after all he's done DESERVES an honorable death - one with respect. He doesn't deserve to die feeling sick or hooked up to a machine ... he deserves what he wants!

I pray that, that is exactly what he receives. Like I said things these past 3 years have flown by, but that day at the cancer center - time stood still. I did my best to act like I understood, to act strong - but I realized that I didn't have to because HE did, and I couldn't be happier for him. These past 3 years while we've all been watching his body die, and his spirit grow ... I hope for his family and friends that these next few weeks time will stand still, and I pray that for him time flies until he gets his wings!

P.S. - Lt. Mangrum ... you've helped me in ways you'll never know ... much love!

A simple cause ....

2007-07-22T23:02:00.000-07:00

Wow ... so today was just one of those days where God is like, "LISTEN, I'm talking to you!" I'm really not even sure were to begin!

Well, this morning I went to Verbena to hear Doug preach ... it's been awhile since I've heard him preach ... I've forgotten how much I missed the honesty of his sermons. My family and I have visited on and off since he left - enough to where the regulars know we really aren't visitors. And in meeting these people I've learned some of their stories and who they are. And sitting there in this room, where I barely know these people, but enough to know their backgrounds, I realized that each one of us has a story to tell ... and each one of us wants to tell it - regardless of what we say. Somehow we all find our own way to tell it - and it's those that don't have a way that cry ... and it's them WE should cry for. Doug told us that on the way to church he ran into a boy walking home and Doug asked him if he was going to stay for church and the boy said, "no, I'm tired" and Doug laughed and said, "me too! so come on ..." and the boy said, "no, I've been at VBS ..." Their conversation went on for a few minutes and then they went there separate ways. In that time Doug found out that the boy had recently been to Texas, he heard his story, but more importantly he listened to his story. I don't know the boy, but I know at least tonight he will go to bed knowing that SOMEONE cares ... that someone took the time out of their day to listen ... that that person gave of themselves - a sacrifice.

After the gospel there is a tradition of the preacher saying,"The word of God, for the people of God.", and the crowd responds, "Thanks be to God! Amen!" He pointed out something that I had never heard or thought of ... to me this response was really just a tradition and a praise to God for His word, but he said that when we say "thanks be to God! Amen" that we are acknowledging that God is going to do what He has said He is going to do, that we are really saying "God let YOUR will be done!" And to me I just thought it was awesome - something so basic and so comfortable to me was turn into something uncharted something almost a little uncomfortable (maybe because we had just read Amos8:1-9:6 ... go read it, it'll put a smile on your face)

I wrote this almost a year ago and saved it as a daft ... I'm not sure where I was going with it ... but I like the beginning so I'll let you take it for what it's worth! :)

Winter Retreat 2007!

2007-01-30T19:53:00.000-08:00

This weekend I attended a Winter Retreat with a 4 churches from the Montgomery/Milbrook area. It was different ... it was fun. It was different in that the number of people that went on the retreat would have been the same number of people in my youth group at First in Prattville. I've never had a small youth group ... so it was nice to experience something new for a change ... where you know everyone and their story. It was fun ... just because it was. Who can't have fun with MESSY GAMES, being told you have to sing before you leave the lunchroom, being yelled at because someone "lost" his luggage (HAHAHA), "Zak, you're my favorite", taking prayer breaks, and worshiping. It was exactly what I needed ... a weekend from reality (or not so much)! There were 4 talks given, each different, each good. Some personal, some not so much, some dry with humor and intellectual, and some just spoken. Each with there own meaning to the person talking, each with there own meaning to the person listening. Each with a bit of the person talking and somehow a bit of every person listening. I learned that only one thing can truly "satisfy" (and it's not a snickers), that there are 7 steps to doing something (I don't know what that something is ... but I know the steps), relationships are important, and that no matter how hard you try no one can do it alone. From "crispy" yet "tender" chicken fingers to TOP 10 LIST (106. Laura) it was a great weekend.
Some of us made new friends and learned about ointments and some of us relied on old friends to carry us through. No matter what the situation was, there seemed to be an answer. And if you went I hope you found yours!

Some things never change ...

2007-01-12T13:18:00.000-08:00

Somewhere in our lives we will all grow up.
Some things never change.

Somewhere in our lives we will all see a past we don't like.
Some things never change.

No matter how many rumors are started and no matter how many are disproved ...
Some things never change.

You know what the saddest thing about growing up is ... the more you know, the less you have to learn.
And some things never change.

No matter how many life lessons you learn there's another one just around this turn.
Some things never change.

The true character of a person will always be revealed in a stressful time.
Some things never change.

The truth will never change, and a lie will never be the same.
Some things never change.

Slander can ruin a person's life because it eats them from the inside out.
And some things never change.

And anger is the one emotion that everyone can relate to.
Some things never change.

There is always sadness in the dark, and hope in the light.
Some things never change.

Change can always be good.
And some things never change.

A true friendship will never be forgotten.
Some things never change.

Your first love will always be remebered.
Some things never change.

A faithful friend will always tell you something you need to know ... even if you asked them not to.
Some things never change

You will always disappoint SOMEONE.
And some things never change.

Your fears will always stay the same.
Some things never change.

The doubts of others will always suprise you.
Some things never change.

A mother will always be concerned.
Some things never change.

God will ALWAYS there.
And some thing will NEVER change.

Letting go ...

2007-01-09T18:34:00.000-08:00

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this.

When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you,caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.When people can walk away from you let them walk.

Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.Let them go.And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over.

Let me tell you something. if you've got the gift of good-bye you should use it. It's not that you're hateful, it's that you're faithful, andyou know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to you. And if it takes too much sweat you don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ....LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered youLET IT GO!!!If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge.....LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......LET IT GO!!!If

you have a bad attitude ......LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better.....LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship......LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressedLET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handlingyourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to.....LET IT GO!!!Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.

GOD is doing a new thing for 2007!!! LET IT GO!!!Get Right or Get Left.. think about it, and then LET IT GO!!!

"The Battle is the Lord's!"

A Bad Cocktail ....

2006-11-06T21:21:00.000-08:00

This is the follow up to the previous post. While I should be editing a paper or getting some much needed sleep I felt the need to respond to some things that happened today.

I think there is one person in everyone's life that God uses to speak them in their greatest time of need.

Today I spent some time with who I consider one of the greatest friends in the world. While we have only been friends for a short while ... it seems as if we have known each other our whole lives. He pointed out some things in my life that I had been struggling with. The entire time we were talking he kept asking "Does this make sense? Is this helping?" And I was so caught up in all my emotions I couldn't let him know that he had just hit the nail on the head! Today my friend ... seemed wise! (which if you knew him that's a major accomplishment! jk!)

Today I learned that where we have been has a major role of dictating of where we are going and the things that we long for. The hungry long for food, the weary long for rest, the poor for profit, and the ashamed for grace ... Who we are and the choices that we HAVE made today will affect who we become tomorrow.

He pointed out that Satan uses two key things in his plan to pull us away from Christ ... Guilt and Fear. He uses guilt to pull us away and fear to keep us there. All this time I thought that guilt was Christ telling me I was doing wrong ... and once you experience guilt you feel shame ... and shame leads to silence .... Never in my life did I consider that this could have been Satan's way of keeping me from my Father. I couldn't figure out how to get around this wall. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't find away AROUND this wall, but we talked about that today and I figured out I need to knock this wall down and not to just go around it. I've always been a person who prides themselves on knowing that they make other people happy. My GREATEST fear is that somewhere in my life I will hear the "D" word and someone will be talking about me. What is the "D" word ... disappointed!!!!!!!!!! I've always heard that talk "If you go to Heaven tonight how is God going to greet you? "My faithful servant, I'm proud of you, you served me well!" or "My child, you have disappointed me ..." I've always prayed that I was pleasing God and I continually worry if I'm making Him proud. An even greater fear of mine is that I won't hear the "D" word in this life, but in the next. My friend was rambling (as he usually does) and little did he know, while he was rambling (with the help of the Holy Spirit) he was speaking directly to my heart. He said, "God isn't going to be disappointed in you, he loves you too much! You've got to get rid of this fear and this guilt if you expect your relationship to grow."

How does this apply to growing up? If you recall my last post said "I had no idea growing up was so hard ..."As a child we are spoon fed, with little freedom. And as a child most of our beliefs are the same of those around us, the same as the one's who influence our lives. As we get older we have more freedom, more choices, and more responsibility. In my opinion this is a bad cocktail! ha! lol! With new freedom we find ourselves exploring and questioning the beliefs we have always be raised up to stand by. When you finally realize that this is your freedom, your choices, your life, ... and now YOUR responsibility (and not your parents) everything becomes much more complicated. A parent can only pray that they have done a good job of raising their kids. And speaking for my parents I know that they have raised two excellent kids (if I say so myself!) My friend explained that I now have to start making my own choices and deciding what MY beliefs are. That in itself ... is part of life I guess.

For all those who have been there for me over the years ... or maybe just a few months ... Thank you! I couldn't ask for a better family! Thanks York!

Just a thought ....

2006-11-06T14:47:00.000-08:00

I had no idea growing up was so hard .... (more soon to follow!)

Happy Anniversary!!! ... to ME!

2006-10-26T19:46:00.000-07:00

Hey guys!!

Wow!! Life is crazier than normal right now! But what else is new ... I'm a senior! ha lol! Thing are ... going! I've been meaning to blog ... but I've had SOOO many papers to write for my college english class I'm a bit worn out on writing! But I absolutely LOVE my english class (it's the reason I didn't take my GED! haha jk! but seriously! lol) But anyways ... I'm writing to let you know that a year ago TODAY I was diagnosed with cancer! By the way, things are going really well with that ! I'll have to get back on here some day and tell you all about it! But I got to go write a paper ... go figure!!! Thanks to everyone who's helped me through this first year!!! You guys are the best! ILU!

My First College PaPeR!! AHH!!

2006-08-17T20:24:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! As you know I'm taking duel enrollment at our school! Which is where I get college hours for my work and high school credit! Well, I am taking my Freshman and sophomore english right now, and I have recently just finished my first college paper! and I'm choosing to share it with YOU!!! (for some of those who read my blog this may seem repetitive! but bear with me!! lol!! You may also notice a few things I have posted on here before in the paper!) EnJoY!!!! (recognize the title?)

Audra Mickle
Mrs. Ivey
English 1010
16 August 2006

Journey's in Life

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us , they help us learn to endure. And endurance develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation. And this expectation will not disappoint us. For we know dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." (Romans 5:3 NLT)

My name is Audra and this is my story. Somewhere in all of our lives we will face trials and tribulations. Some of us will lose ourselves, and some of us will be lucky enough to find ourselves. We all have a choice with what we do with the situations we have at hand. In trials you find strength, in strength you find happiness, in happiness you find yourself. This is the story of my trials and my tribulations. This is the story of me losing myself and finding it again. These are my choices. This is my life.

My life was good, simple yet sophisticated, wholesome. It was mine. My life was nothing out of the ordinary. I've lived in a small town, Prattville, Al, for most of my life. I knew everyone in the town and saw them at least once or twice a day. I was active in most of the school activities, heck I was even the school mascot. I coached soccer for six to eight year old boys and girls, I played guitar in the youth praise band, I acted in community theatre, and I led a bible study for kids in junior high. I was what I wanted to be , I was me. My life was interrupted one day by news no one expects. I was now a person living with cancer.

With the news on my mind and bible in hand I walked into my church, for the first time in my life I was hiding something from my second family. That night I told one of my best friends, my mentor, my associate pastor. I had no idea how to tell him, let alone anyone else. I simply asked him, "Doug, how do you tell the people you love something that's tremendously hard to understand?" His reply, "Just tell them." So that's what I did. I told him that night, with no emotion. It's as if I had been practicing for that moment all my life. Dougs response to my statement was pure shock, fright, alarm. He seemed to be feeling everything I couldn't. We sat there for what felt like days, but it was only a few minutes in utter silence. Neither one of us new what to say, it was if we had just witness a train wreck. And that train wreck was now my life. My simple yet sophisticated life had just slipped through my fingers and fallen into the sea. With what little comfort he could offer, he did, with what emotion he could show, he did, with what little strength he had, he gave ... to me. Where to go now with the disappointed look of a friend, not the look of disappointment in me or the look of disappointment in himself or in our God, but disappoint with our human lives. I went the only place I could, where I knew my secret would be safe, I went home.

The next few months were almost unbearable. No one knew my secret. I wasn't ashamed, I was scared. Scared it would change my life; little did I know it already had. My life felt like someone's little black book. Full of people you had lied to, people you cared little for and one night stands. The life I was living felt like a lie, I was constantly lying to cover up why I was always sick, why I was always tired, why I was always cold or nauseas. The people I care most for I was lying to them on a day to day basis. My life that I had planned out changed to day to day living, never planning past tomorrow. In my darkest and deepest moments I wrote. I wrote to myself, to my family, to my future self, my friends, to my God. I wrote this poem as an escape from my pain, my confusion, and the questions I thought I couldn't ask.

I wonder where tomorrow comes from, where is it going today?

I wonder why I'm so tired and hungry but yet so full?

Why can't I think, move, breathe?

Why did he give and I receive?

Why does he try and take away, but I hold on?

Why was I chosen?

What makes me so special?

I feel sick, nauseas, chest hurts, its colds, and sometimes lonely.

But I know others have gone before me and won, and I know I can do the same.

I wonder is life gunna change?

Has it already and I missed it?

Why do I already want to give in?

Why should I fight, what's to lose?

Where is he going with this, where am I taking it?

Can I look past it or thru it?

Why is he so strong and how can he hold me?

Why has he already taken everything?

Why do I need him?

What's in it for him?

I'm still tried but I can't Sleep.

All I do is think, think about tomorrow, think about today,yesterday,

next week, next year.

And sometimes I'm to tired to think so I sit, and wait, and watch.

For what I don't know, but I'm still sitting, and waiting, and watching.

As I'm sitting, and waiting, and watching

I watch as he paints a picture, a picture of my life.

Its dreams, hopes, worries, desperation,

But it goes blurry with one stroke,

and with the second stroke its wiped clean except for three spots.

I see this and I'm amazed and I sit, and wait, and watch.

Because I'm to tired to think or move.

So he does it all for me.

And I wonder ... but I'm to tired to think.

That was me in November. I took a look at myself and asked, "Is this who I want to be?" No, was my answer. But understand there may be an answer to a question, but no solution. The next few months I would begin to detach myself from my emotions. I wasn't depressed, I wasn't unhappy, I was just there. Not so much "living in the moment", I was just living. Making it day to day, night to night, and sunrise to sunrise. I earnstly began to pray to God for a reason. I thought that if I understood what he had planned out for my life I would feel again. I would be me again. My old self with a simple yet sophisticated life. I would once again be a soccer coach, once again a guiarist in the praise band, an actress in the community theatre, a person living without cancer. I began to get impatient, not angry, but the impatientness you begin to feel after sitting in a doctors office for an hour. I was ready for God to use me, God on the other hand had other plans. I never doubted God, I never questioned where he was, I never felt abandoned. I simply didn't feel. I had some how detached myself from myself! It wasn't until one of my friends past away did I begin to feel again. To better understand what I mean, this is a letter I wrote to Mark after he passed.

Hey!I don't know if anyone will ever read this ... but if they don't it's ok! This can be just between me and you! You know we were never the best of friends, we seemed to butt heads alot! But what I do know is that you made Brittney feel important! And there are some things that friends just can't do! And what we couldn't you DID! When I found out what happend I spent 30 min. looking for your house and another 40 min. waiting on Sarah to meet me at the soccer fields! She told me to turn at the white pickett fence ... do you know that there are two? lol! Who would have guessed I was at the wrong one! But I guess there's a reason for that! You may not have known this but I have cancer! And ever since I was diagnoised ... I somehow seemed to block all feeling out! I kinda detached myself from everything! I was still happy but nat attached to anything! I didn't really care what happend I had no feelings over anything! Mark you may not have known this but God used your trip home to help me! You see I had been asking God to let me feel something again! And I felt like I wasn't geting a response back! And then I got a phone call! And at that moment everything fell to peices! I felt for the longest time ... emotion! It wasn't that I still didn't care for people but I for some reason didn't want to get atached! I broke down and cried for a while! Not only for you but also for your family, Brittney, and all your friends ... but I also cried for me! I cried for you because I wasn't sure if you where a christian or not ... and I cried for me because I wasn't sure when I knew you ... and I still didn't do anything about it. Mark, I'm sorry if I failed you! I prayed for your soul when I found out ... but I knew the desicion had already been made .... I hope to meet you in a better place one day ... when we are both well ....... Thanks for everything you did for Brittney ... and thanks for helping me!

Grace,Audra

Since that night I began to reexamine my life. Where it had been, where I was taking it. The parts I remember, and the parts I didn't. Was this where God wanted me, and this gift that he has given me? I slowly have started to find myself that I once was detached from. This cancer, this disease, this trial in my life has been placed in my life for a reason. What its purpose is, I have no idea. I may never know until I go home. I do question it somedays, but I relize that, that would ruin the surprise. I also understand that I as a human cannot comprehend the plans God has for me, and as hard as it may be I'll do my best to continue to accept it.

I now am a soccer coach for six to eight year old boys and girls, I now play guitar in the youth praise band, I now act in community theatre, and I now lead a bible study for kids in junior high. I'm now starting to be who I want ... I'm starting to be me. I now am a person living with cancer.

I recently had a teacher tell me, "Don't tell me, show me. Make me care!" She told me that she wanted to hear my voice, my story, well this is it. In trials I found God's strength, in strength I found my happiness, in happiness I found myself. And the rest is still unwritten.

Hope you enjoyed it LoL!! thanks for reading! lata! (p.S. - I deserve a gold star for posting 3 DAYS in a ROW!! lol)

I found it ...

2006-08-16T18:52:00.000-07:00

Hey!

Wow! I'm posting two days in a row! lol! I recently got a paper back from my English teacher. It was suppose to be an autobiographical paper about a tragedy (so I picked the obvious choice at hand) lol! Well, it was really wired I had never written it down on paper before. I mean the actual events that had taken place. I had never really had a reason to. So when I wrote my paper I gave her all the FACTS! Nothing more nothing less. Well, when I got it back the other day it said at the top "Audra I don't want an encyclopedia entry, I want you!" Yes, I had written this great paper filled with detail, dates, and times but what I had left out was me. I was talking to a really good friend and I told him that story and he told me that I needed to put emotion there and all though he was being sarcastic it hit me. I recently posted about feeling detached from people. But actually that wasn't the case. I had detached myself from MYSELF! ha! Who would have thought it! Now that I'm "in touch with my emotions" I guess I should go write my paper! Starting over from scratch!!!! Later! (thanks mike!)

Why I'm so Cheery!?

2006-08-14T20:01:00.000-07:00

Hey guys!

After talking with 2 of my favorite people today I realized I used my blog as a vent. Which is a great thing b/c I love it lol but I also realized I should try and give back to those who give so much to me on here!

Tonight was the start of me watching my neighbors animals. I really should be called a zoo keeper or Noah b/c there are so many animals at Andy's house. Well, the newest addition to the farm are these four little kittens. He apparently just found them a few days ago in the sewer so he brought them home and has had them in his bathroom ever since. Well, tonight I changed that! lol! I went over there and did my homework (b/c Corporal Keith had it on the History channel, and honestly who can do genetics with WWII literally going on in the background?)! While I was doing my homework I let these little guys out to explore their new world!

They were so adorable! They all ran around seeing the sites! Everything was soo new to them! They were truely excited to see thie new home. At first not all of them were comfortable but after a little while they all warmed up and were comfortable with their surroundings. And soon enough they got tired and fell asleep. I wonder sometimes if we aren't like those little kittens when it comes to our relationship with God. If once we accept Christ or get back from a retreat and we are on that spiritual high and we are soo excited and everything is new to us. Then after awhile we get comfortable with our surroundings and where our relationship with Christ is. And pretty soon we fall asleep.

There is another story in all of this! There was one kitten that wasn't into everything that was going on. He was the runt of the litter ... I named him Buttons I don't really know why but I did. It's a very manly name don't you think "Buttons". Buttons stayed in the small bathroom where he had been kept, even when all his siblings were out galvanting around. So I decided he needed a little encoragement. When I picked him up to take him out of the bathroom, he didn't like it to much. He definatly went into defensive mode and sratched me. And me being as lucky as I am I happened to have an allergic reaction from this sratch. I'm talking my eye swelled up and my face go red (my face looked AlMoSt as bad as yours Mike! JK!) it was UgLy! For a while after I took him out of the bathroom he sat underneath a chair in the corner. He seemed timid, almost scared of his brothers and sisters. So I figured a little one on one action would help him out. I took out one of the bookmarks I had in my bible to catch his attention. It was one of those bookmarks with the ribbon on the end. At first he had no idea what this was and was a little slow at cathing on, but by the end of the night I might of considered him a pouncing panther! lol! Even though he did sometimes get distracted by the things his brothers and sisters were doing he always came back. He knew that I was going to be there for him. Once he really got into playing with the bookmark his brothers and sisters figured out what he was doing looked pretty cool and they wanted to join. But unfortunatly I had to come home and type this before I forgot it all! :)

Now I think out of the 2 stories that I shared I think that we should strive to be like the runt. Not so much the timid and scared part, but the part that once we figured out what we were doing with our relationship with Christ, we still may get distracted, but that we'll always come back to Him because we know that He will be there for us. I also think that our excitment and our love for Christ should be so visible that everyone around us will want to experience the love of Christ.

So I hope you enjoyed it! Later!!

This doesn't make sense ...?

2006-07-26T23:14:00.000-07:00

Hey Moma Lisa! (hehe!)

Hey guys! These past few weeks have probably been the most stressful yet most defining weeks of my youth! I don't even know where to start! So I'll just start typing and when I get tired I guess I'll be thru!

My parents and I decided that camp was becoming to much for me. So I decided to take my last 2 weeks off! Which was very hard for me ... I don't like to quit. I guess it was hard for me A.) because not eveyone knew and once I left I knew that they would find out B.) I've never not been able to push myself hard enough so that I couldn't finish a job! So I guess answer B made me realize some things! Which were alot harder than I thought to accept!

This past Sunday one of my friends past away! He had a heart problem. He had, had a pace maker put in in the spring and was doing fine. He had his tonsils out a week ago and when 2 of our friends went over to hang out, his dad went in to wake him up and relized that Mark had passed away in his sleep ...

Rachel Dicks and I have started a new thing ... in the summer we have started going to radom churches that we have never been to before! Well, this past Sunday we went to Whitfield United Methodist Church in Montgomery! We knew alot of people there from Chrysalis. Well, this week is their Youth Week and Rachel and I thought it would be fun to go! So we have been going and it's been truely amazing it's been such a huge help with dealing with all the stress of losing Mark! Well one of the guys I know from Chrysalis asked me to come and give my testimony in August. And I was like .... ok! Ten min. later I got to think I don't know what the heck my testimony is! I didn't know where to look or begin!

Most of you are probably thinking "Audra ... you have cancer !!! That seems to be a good place to start!" lol (you can laugh at that ... I found it funny! idk why, but I did! lol)

Well, it got me to thinking and on the way back to Prattville with Rachel Dicks in the car I started to think out loud! Oh yes! lol! I looked at Rachel in all honesty and I think I scared her ... and myself ... I relized even though God has given me this "bump in my road" I don't feel that much closer to God! (This is where I started to think out loud) I looked at her and said "What if I was suppose to get alot closer than I am ... what if he gives me an even bigger speed bump to bring me closer .... (but I didn't actually say "bigger speed bump" I said leukemia) I was left to think about this ... and I did and it hit me .... maybe God didn't give this to me for ME but for someone ELSE!! You see my relationship with God was already established before I was diagnoised! We where tight and we still are! I already depended on God to get me through the day .. when you have ADD what else are you suppose to do? I just know that I pray for things now that I normally wouldn't have before! But something did happen after I was diagnoised ... I didn't shut people out, I didn't get depressed ... but I did detach my self from my emotions. I was still happy and stuff but it was like it was a happy "for only that moment". Then I wouldn't get sad ... but I would just be there ... not really feeling (don't get me wrong people who say they don't feel anything are usually depressed I'm not just ... detached!

So how is this all tying into my testimony ... to tell you the truth I have NO IDEA! lol! It is however 1:46 in the morning and I've had probably about 4 hours of sleep a night since Sunday!

But something happend Sunday that I had been praying for, that I didn't realize until yesterday!
I felt something! I have a letter that I wrote Mark that I want to share with you because I think it explains what I have been trying to ... but haven't been doing a very good job of! lol!

Hey!

I don't know if anyone will ever read this ... but if they don't it's ok! This can be just b/w me and you! You know I didn't really know you! But what I do know is that you made Brittney feel important! And there are some things that friends just can't do! And what we couldn't you DID! When I found out what happend I spent 30 min. looking for your house and another 40 min. waiting on Sarah to meet me at the soccer fields! She told me to turn at the white pickett fence ... do you know that there are 2? lol! Who would have guessed I was at the wrong one! But I guess there's a reason for that! You may not have known this but I have cancer! And ever since I was diagnoised ... I somehow seemed to block all feeling out! I kinda detached myself from everything! I was still happy but nat attached to anything! I didn't really care what happend I had no feelings over anything! Mark you may not have known this but God used your trip home to help me! You see I had been asking God to let me feel something again! And I felt like I wasn't geting a response back! And then I got a phone call! And at that moment everything fell to peices! I felt for the longest time ... emotion! It wasn't that I still didn't care for people but I for some reason didn't want to get atached! I broke down and cried for a while! Not only for you but also for your family, Brittney, and all your friends ... but I also cried for me! I cried for you b/c I wasn't sure if you where a christian or not ... and I cried for me b/c I wasn't sure when I knew you ... and I still didn't do anything about it. Mark, I'm sorry if I failed you! I prayed for your soul when I found out ... but I knew the desicion had already been made .... I hope to meet you in a better place one day ... when we are both well ....... Thanks for everything you did for Brittney ... and thanks for helping me!

Grace,
Audra

I'm not sure if this makes any sense to ANYONE! but if you read it thanks for your time! So where does this leave me with my testimony .... half way put together I guess! well, I got to go Me and Rachel are going to "The Crib" (Highland Gardens Community Center) to hang out with some pretty kewl kids tomorrow! Love ya!

I'm still alive!

2006-06-06T20:52:00.000-07:00

Hey blogger world! It's been forever since I've had time to write anythign down! It's been so long Nolan even took me off his "favorite blog list: (tear)!

Well, I thought my life was crazy ... but it's about to take a turn for ... even crazier! Gotta love it! I jsut got back from San Antonio, TX for Choir Tour (Missed ya Nolan! and the ever famous late night devotions and singing in hotel lobbies and pit stops for Krispy Kreme ... and most of all STARBUCKS!) Tonight I'm packing to leave for Camp Chandler and I'll get back on Friday! And Sunday I leave for Camp ASCCA for 6 weeks! YEA ...!!! I hope lol! Between me and you ... I'm not to keen on the guy I am working with! But with the power of prayer I can make it through anything ... but yours would be greatly appreciated! LoL! :)

Everything with my cancer seems to be going ok right now even though we did have a slight scare about 2 mounths ago for some reason my levels spiked ... but everything is aight now! We never did really find out an answer to why my levels spiked, but we figured it was from stress ... or something like that! But it's all good! :)

This is another reason my life is about to get crazy! My second family (the staff at Camp ASCCA) .... well they don't know! (GaSP!) :0! My boss knows and the 2 returning staff that I am closest too know ... but that's it! And it's really weird to stand up and introduce yourself like this "HI my name is Audra Mickle I've been sober for 2 years noe" .... o wait wrong introduction "Hi my name is Audra Mickle and this is my 3rd summer working at ASCCA and I run the horse back program ... and I will be leaving every 21 days for my cancer treatment. So ... who's ready to scoop poop! :) lol! SO I guess I'm a little weired out by having to tell everyone all over again!

Well, I have to go! I need to start packing I have to be at the Fire station at 8 tomorrow morning! lol! Love ya all!

Almost forgot!

2006-03-22T22:42:00.000-08:00

For those of you reading this blog this one is dedicated to one of the coolest youth pastors wife I know (Mrs. Robin)! Hehe! I saw her and she told me I should write on my blog to keep her up-to-date with my life (b/c I know each and everyone of you wants to know what exactly is going on in my life)! Well ..... right now is SpRiNg BrEaK 2006 and I just got back from FL today! And things were awesome there (Tyler get you some Pineapple)! I'm in a play with the community theatre it's called the 5 Little Peppers and How They Grew! hehe! I'm the granny :) And I'm entering 2 pieces of my artwork into another art show! Schools going ight but I'm ready for it to be over so I can go work at Camp ASCCA again (my home sweet home!) - p.s. if anyone needs odd jobs to be done in the Pratt-vegas area let me know I need the money lol (i'm more of a seasonal worker lol) - anyhoot lets see wha telse is going on in my life .... well we don't really have any updates on my cancer but we should next month! Hmmm .... I cant really think of anything else besides I really want some coffee b/c it's late and I gave it up for Lent UGH lol! OH I also started my book that I'm writing .... It's off to a great start if I do say so myself lol! Well I'll holla at you thugs lata! Love ya~!~

2006-03-05T19:02:00.001-08:00

Here is another personality test thing I found on Nolans blog today (hehe i so just copied and pasted what he sais lol). You can click five or six words and then it will begin to tell you information about yourself. If you share the interactive page with your friends, they can enter five or six words describing you and it will help fill out your results.

So, here is where you can fill in stuff on my window.B/c I know you live a boring life ... and well I want to hear about me! HEHE!

Feeling God ... or like God?

2006-02-13T20:02:00.000-08:00

First I would like to say hello to the blogger world b/c I haven't made a post since .... a really long time! LoL! Life as you know it has been extremly crazy lately and I just haven't found time or the strength to write something until now!

I recently have been having trouble with a friend that I have been "amigos" with since I can remember. To be exact I'm not really even sure when we met ... but I have a pretty good guess. Lately she hasn't been holding her end up of the the friendship rope. I've been there for her for everything that's she's been through. Her back surgeries (she's had 3), her boyfriends (to many to count, but she got out a serious relationship in the summer of 16 months and 2 weeks), her parents divorce (that was rough b/c my dad was deployed that year) but through all this I would push aside my problems to cater to hers b/c that's what friends are for. Well recently I've had my own problems and I've needed a soft spot to land somedays but it seemed like the more I would ask if I could rest on her the harder she got. We had just started to patch things up when she calls and says "I want to go out to dinner with you tomorrow. I need to talk to you!" and I said "ok how bout 6:00 Firehouse Subs" she says "great I'll see you then." It was set we where actually going to get together like two human beings (this would be the first time we've done something together since Novemer 2, 2005). I get a call today from my firend saying I have to go into work but I'll call you after. Well, since I went up to the YMCA to work out I figured I would just wait on her to get through coaching. I go and wait for her where she parks her car ... and it's not there. So I call her mom b/c if she is at work and her cell phone go's off she'll get in trouble. Her mom informs me that she's over at another friends house and that she should be home shortly. So me being the rational person I am I go over to the friends house where she is and I don't stop, I don't say anything to her, I just drive. And I relize ... she's lied to me (incase no one caught that yet ;-) } I also have the incapacity to stay angry with someone for more the 3 seconds (which doesn't help me out alot in these situations) Have you ever had that one person that NO MATTER what they did you ALWAYS forgave them. But you also know how bad it did hurt when they did whatever it was they did. And yet you still forgave them anyway? I wonder if that's how God feels everytime we do something like this. He loves us SO much that he's willing to forgive and forget whatever we did, but that it still might hurt him? That's kind of like how I felt tonight I love this kid so much that I'm will to forgive and forget almost anything but it still hurts. So I think we should all say "Thanks" to the big guy upstairs! (Just because he's that cool!)

P.S. Happy Valentines Day ~!~

The Inteview with God ???

2006-01-06T23:52:00.000-08:00

So I was surffing the web and came across this and I thought you should see it cause it's pretty cool (and well if I think it's cool then it has to be awesome lol JK) So stop reading and check it out! :) Later !

http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/

Last Day of 2005 !

2005-12-31T02:17:00.000-08:00

It's late again ... and I can't sleep imagine that! Today is the last day of 2005. I can't believe it! It's gone by so fast ... and yet so slow. It seems to me every year speeds up and slows down for it's on reasons, at all the wrong times. For instance - Summer breaks and Christmas holidays -never are long enough, but when you have Anatomy, Chemistry, and Algebra 3 the days don't go by fast enough. But as most of you know I was diagnosed with Carcinoid cancer in October of this year and I promise you the days get shorter and the nights get longer.The days are filled with my normal hectic routine of trying to make it till that night without getting sick or without letting it show that am sick. Then the nights are filled with countless hours of no sleep b/c I'm to busy thinking about other things like "How far do I want to push myself or how far do I actually need to push myself?" "What college am I going to go to? Am I going to have to tell everyone all over when get there, since there isn't a cure? Are my teachers going to understand?" "Am I strong enough for this ... for myself?" "Where is my breaking point?" "I know I didn't choose this, it chose me." "Where is God taking this? Can we hurry up and get there?" "Is it ok to Cry? "Is it ok to be scared?" "How tough do I have to be?" and somewhere in the middle of this the occasional "What am I going to wear tomorrow?" "What am I going to write on my Blog! HA!" "Who am I going to invite to Cotton cotillion?" and somewhere I'll fall asleep and a new day will eventually begin. But since I've found out I had cancer I've had school to occupy my mind. Since we are out for Christmas break I've had a lot of time to think about things (I know scary ... me thinking!). You know somedays I feel like running away ... away from everything .. like you just need a break from reality, but I realized running away is good for avoiding things, it's good for avoiding yourself, it's good for avoiding the people you love, it's good for avoiding your life. And I'm tired of running and faking, I'm tired of having a wall, I'm tired of people not knowing or understanding, I'm tired of giving blood, I'm tired of doctors and medications, I'm tired of shots, I'm tired of being sick, cold, and tremors, I'm tired and I know when I think of how I have to do this for the rest of my life it's to much to handel and I know I need to take it day by day, but I'm tired of taking it day to day, I want to make plans and not have to break them, someday's I'm tired of being positive but I know I have to be, I'm tired of being uncertain, I'm tired of not letting myself cry, I'm glad God's in control b/c Lord knows I would mess things up if I was, but I wish he would let me in on his plan. I wish I knew where he was going with this. I wish I knew what days I would be sick. I wish ... You know when you think something and you know you shouldn't. Like you do something and you do it wrong and your mom says "I told you so!" and thats just not what you want to hear at all! I hate knowing the "politically correct" answer. Somedays I wish I didn't know it, but other days it's good to have it to fall back on. And someday's I hate having to take my own advice that I've dished out to my friends. Like I wonder " am I strong enough for this and I think no but I know God is" and "When people say I wish I could take this from you and I say don't worry he already took everything." Sometimes I want to say "yeah me to" or "go ahead take it!"Not that anyone should have to go thru this or that I'm wishing it on someone else ... it would just be easier if it wasn't me (it always is though if it's not you) ... and I know "God didn't allow for this to happened he planned it (which is very comforting) but why? and I know I shouldn't question him ... All in all ... I'm wishing ... and I'm tired ... so good night ... and thanks for listening ... or reading!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

A Mothers Birthday forgotten ... Oops! :O

2005-12-27T23:59:00.000-08:00

Yes, yesterday December 27, 2005 my mothers birthday was forgotten. Not only by one of her daughters but also her husband! Luckily I remembered and was able to scramble the two forgetful ones together and half-way make something of my mothers birthday. My sister had forgotten, not on purpose, but just because she was getting ready for Montgomery Cotillion (for college students). And my father ... well he just is very forgetful! Ha! So me being the good citizen I am I shared my gift with Heather to give our mother, and called dad to pick up a dozen roses on the way to the restaurant . Talk about total chaos! You know moms get 2 days out of the year for recognition for everything that they do ... and when one of those is simply forgotten ... it's not a happy household. Mothers have got to be the most unselfish people God has created. There's a gene in all of them that just can't stop from giving. My mom didn't ask for alot ... actually she didn't ask for anything! But she deserves more than anything we can give her! So here's a shout out to all the mothers of the world ... Happy Birthday and Thanks! :)

P.S. - So you know I was asked to go to a Youth Theological Camp at Emory University, which is cool and all ... except my moms Church of Christ! Ha! You know I've been waiting for the right moment to ask her if I could go! Well, I got a little anxious and asked today ... BAD IDEA! lol! So peace of advice ... if anyone forgets your mothers birthday don't ask for anything you want! ;)Peace out A*town down!

Something for Chirstmas ...

2005-12-23T23:50:00.000-08:00

I wrote this last year at Christmas b/c Tyler Woodham and I (Nolan I think I'm starting to understand English lol) wrote a song together and we didn't have any words to it ... so this is what I came up with. And I figured it being Christmas and all it would fit perfect.

Just a Baby

He was just a baby who was born late one night.
But he broke our bread and drank our wine.

He was just a baby who slept where cows lay.
But he broke our bread and drank our wine.

He was once a baby who slept where angels trod.
But he broke our bread and drank our wine.

He was once a baby who slept where kings sang Hallelujah.
But he broke our bread and drank our wine.

He was just a baby who left the sound of angel’s grace.
But he broke our bread and drank our wine.

He was just a baby who came for men with unkind ways.
But he broke our bread and drank our wine.

He was just a baby from up above.
But he broke our bread and drank our wine.

He was just a baby sent to rescue us.
But he broke our bread and drank our wine.

He was just a baby but he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
But he broke our bread and drank our wine.

He was just a baby, a baby boy.
But he broke our bread and drank our wine.

Working behind the scenes ...

2005-12-06T19:43:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been driving in your car and a song comes on and it's like your all time favorite and you have heard it a million times, but for the first time today you actually listen to the words. And it hits you, you feel like your a person in a movie driving down the road (you know with that background music they always have) and you finally start to notice things. It doesn't matter what it is, but for the first time in a long time you are actually paying attention to what is going on around you. And then you see something and you realize that you have never really looked at this in that way before, and for some reason it seems to be the most beautiful things you have seen ... in a long time (and no I'm not talking about God's gorgeous creation sitting in the next lane over stopped at the red light), but something flawless. And you realize that it was all there before man was ever thought about. And you start to imagine God playing all these rolls in the biggest production ever. I mean technically he is the director and producer of this show (meaning life). And I wonder if what we are faced with everyday isn't God's way of working behind the scenes. You know seeing what we are really made of, and to prepare us for our "production". This just leaves me with one thing ... how is God working behind the scenes in your life?

I wonder ...

2005-11-29T18:53:00.000-08:00

I don't really have alot to write about on here, but I do have something that I wrote awhile ago and I figure this is a pretty cool place to put it. I rencently was diagnoised with Carcinoid cancer ... I wrote this a few nights afterI was daignoised.

I woder where tomorrow comes from, where is it going today?
I wonder why I’m so tired and hungry but yet so full?
Why can’t I think, move, breathe?
Why did he give and I receive?
Why does he try and take away, but I hold on?
Why was I chosen?
What makes me so special?
I feel sick, nauseas, chest hurts, its colds, and sometimes lonely.
But I know others have gone before me and won, and I know I can do the same.
I wonder is life gunna change?
Has it already and I missed it?
Why do I already want to give in?
Why should I fight, what’s to lose?
Where is he going with this, where am I taking it?
Can I look past it or thru it?
Why is he so strong and how can he hold me?
Why has he already taken everything?
Why do I need him?
What’s in it for him?
I’m still tried but I can’t Sleep.
All I do is think, think about tomorrow, think about today,
yesterday, next week, next year.
And sometimes I’m to tired to think so I sit, and wait, and watch.
For what I don’t know, but I’m still sitting, and waiting, and watching.
As I’m sitting, and waiting, and watching
I watching as he paints a picture, a picture of my life.
Its dreams, hopes, worries, desperation,
But it goes blurry with one stroke, and with the second stroke its wiped clean except for 3 spots.
I see this and I’m amazed and I sit, and wait, and watch
Because I’m to tired to think or move.
So he does it all for me.
And I wonder … but I’m to tired to think.

P.S. this is the drama I was talking abot Mrs. K ~!~ I'll explain everythign tonight ~!~ ;)

Me and Ace

2005-11-28T19:28:00.000-08:00

Hehe I thought this was going on my profile ... but oviously not and now I don't know how to put it on there ... so if anyone wants to tell me how feel free ~!~

Hmmm...

2005-11-28T16:58:00.000-08:00

Right now I don't have alot of time to write about stuff and this is my first Blog so I don't really have alot to write about right now ... but I just thought I would wrote something lol ~!~ The real reason I joined is cause I know some pretty cool people who have a Blog ... A.K.A Nolan, Mrs. K (Karen Hunerwadel) and MONK lol ~!~